hilton head - last round

The great thing about posting vacation pics on a blog instead of forcing people to view them in person is that you, gentle reader, can get away when you are over it. :) I'm reading a Terry Pratchett book right now in which he describes a demon-controlled underworld that no longer uses instruments of torture like red-hot pokers and flaying people and disemboweling as their hellish tortures.

Instead, for instance, they put you in a hotel in Wales on an endless rainy afternoon, before the bar has opened, one channel available on the television, and one book available -- a worn romance novel with half the pages missing -- and nowhere else to go except the one movie theater in town which is showing something in French with lots of umbrellas and subtitles. Or they put you in a lecture hall with a demon showing slides of his last vacation -- over and over again:

"- this is when we were in the Fifth Circle, only you can't see where we stayed, it was just off to the left there, and this is that funny couple we met, you'd never believe it, they lived on the Icy Plains of Doom just next door to -"

So, as your self-appointed torturer showing you vacation slides, I feel a bit better about myself in that you have the option to escape.

On that note, here's the last few pics I'm going to post. Hope you have enjoyed.

Oh, and in case you didn't read it here, this is the link to the Denver Post review I wrote on "The Skin of Our Teeth." Now, on with the torture:


There really is a (fuckin' huge) alligator in the center of this pic. We were driving by and had to stop, along with all the other idiot tourists and get a pic. One dumbass redneck kid from like Georgia or Florida tossed a rock or two at it from way too close. I was hoping to get an action shot, but no luck. :)


I totally had a shot of my brother and his son crashed out, but i made too much noise getting my camera.


My sister Jill and John Alex hiding behind her in Savannah.


John and Eric with some dead guy statue in one of those squares in Savannah.


Savannah's Cotton Exchange.


A cool t-shirt store in Hilton Head with parrots chilling out in one corner.







And, for once, I actually got a shot of John Alex smiling and not trying to hide from the camera. :)

Last but not least, here's the view from the condo balcony near evening, when the dolphin-watching boat would take tourists out. You could see dolphins surfacing near the boat right there, as if they were trained dogs or something.



Thanks for putting up with all this. :)

gimme some hilton head

you are here.

Well, sorry for neglecting this space for the past few days. I’ve been in South Carolina since Saturday, hanging with my sister, my brother and his wife and son, a sort of kid’s vacation. When my mom passed away a couple of years ago, one of the things she left us was her time-share in Hilton Head, and we thought, what the hell? Might as well use it.

This place is unreal. No, I mean it is really ‘unreal.’ It’s like a giant gated community, all condos and mini-mall style shopping/restaurant areas, and fat white tourists from Indiana and Georgia. (I guess we’re fat white tourists from Pennsylvania and Colorado, but…)

i dress exactly like this guy when on vacation, except with black socks.

On Monday we went to the beach and the pool, squeezing out a bit of fun in the sun before a weather front moved in yesterday. Total white-trashing it up with a six of bud on the beach. It was like being in Lawrence of Arabia: the blowing sand in the 30 mph winds scoured my teeth clean, and watching people chase their stuff down the beach and the freezing-ass, shivering kids trying to brave the water was an endless source of amusement. But the sun was nice when it was out, and I did manage to take a (verrrrry chilly) dip in the ocean. For about two seconds. Today looks like it will be nicer, an tomorrow should be in the mid-70s.

I’m not complaining, having left Colorado early Saturday morning, driving on the ice-covered roads at fifty mph, then finally getting on the plane only to sit on the tarmac for an hour and a half waiting to de-ice, subsequently missing my connecting flight in Charlotte and having to wait four hours there. I must say that being here is just dandy with me.

It is freaky here, though. I feel like I have more to talk about with the servers and bartenders (yes, I have spent a decent portion of my time in bars, lol, teaching these low-landers how we roll at high altitude :) than I have in common with the graying golfers and tubby moms and dads with their eight little roly-poly screeching monsters. Our little monster, my nephew John Alex has been pretty awesome the whole time. He knows what an indoor voice is, and when Uncle Kurt is motherfucking sleeping, he motherfucking knows how to motherfucking play quietly. He’s four and loves to play pirates and run around like a maniac the rest of the time--my kind of people. :)

We went to a lighthouse yesterday, and stood outside in the wind for all of 30 seconds, then we did some shopping. A whole lot of shopping. A shit-ton of shopping. More shopping than I myself do in a year. Did I mention that my sister and my sister-in-law are both here? :)

this is the lighthouse we went to, but believe me, the water was not placid like this.

At any rate, fun times so far, and I will upload pics when I get a chance. Looking forward to being back in NoCo soon, and don’t forget I’m hosting the Boozy Bunny festivities at Lucky Joe’s on Sunday eve. Kevin dresses up as Boozy Bunny and we all, well, drink and have an all-star open mike, with me (the allest of all-stars) Joe, Chad Price from Drag the River, P-Man from Motorhome and a couple of others. It’s free and it’s a loverly way to celebrate the second coming of Our Lord. Or was that the first coming? Whatever. That guy’s got no staying power. No wonder his porn career was so short.

Ha! Short! Get it? :)

C y’all soon,

kjb