Tuesday, April 14, 2009

regular joes...uh, really?

regular joes drive lexii? or lexuseses? whatever they're called...

So while traveling in South Carolina last week, I couldn't help noticing this lovely example of the magical spell of cognitive dissonance that Republicans seem to be under these days. I think the pic will blow up huge if you click on it. Notice the bumper sticker. On a Lexus.

I think what we have here is actually an Irregular Joe. :)

the skin of our teeth


Hiya. Just saw an amazing play last weekend down at the Aurora Fox called "The Skin of Our Teeth" by Thornton Wilder. The show is utterly bizarre, hilarious, yet pointed and smart, and does a great job of keeping the audience off-balance while succeeding in bringing the story around in the end.

(Huh. It's almost like someone should have awarded this guy a prize of some sort...)

Like Thornton Wilder needs my compliments. Anyway, i wrote a review for the Post which should be out this Thursday. However, as loyal viewers of this space, here's a preview for ya. :)


THE SKIN OF OUR TEETH

The audience’s first clue that “The Skin of Our Teeth,” showing at the Aurora Fox is going to be a bit off-kilter is apparent even before the house lights go down. At the top of Act One, Charles Packard and Chandra Gregg’s amazing set is representative of a suburban living room, but the walls are oddly angled and disconnected from one another, the windows and doors stretched like something from a Tim Burton nightmare. The program helpfully informs us that “The play you are about to see is surreal,” and goes on to describe what that means.

Suffice to say, the first time a dinosaur appears on the lawn peering in the window and complaining about the cold of the impending ice age, soon joined by a mammoth huddling by the fireplace in the living room, most audience members should have a pretty good understanding of the word “surreal.”

That, or they’ll be double-checking their medication dosages.

But understanding what’s going on in a linear sense isn’t really the right way to approach a play like Thornton Wilder’s Pulitzer Prize-winning 1942 comedy on the human condition. The play is like a lunatic ride on a Moebius roller-coaster designed by M.C. Escher, piloted by an erudite Daffy Duck on a handful of mescaline. And true to Wilder’s predilection for breaking theatrical conventions, the family’s maid Sabina, played with glittering, mad optimism by Megan Van de Hay almost immediately gets caught on stage with no more lines to say, as another actor “misses” an entrance.

“I hate this play,” she confides to the audience, later adding, “I’ll say the lines, but I won’t think about the play. I advise you not to think about it either.”

Wilder’s self-deprecations aside, there is actually plenty to think about here. As Mr. and Mrs. Antrobus (John Arp and Billie McBride) discuss his day at work, where he invented the wheel, mathematics, and is currently working on the alphabet, it dawns on us that they are in fact meant to represent the first humans, Adam and Eve as it were, as well as the entirety of the human species. When Mrs. Antrobus snaps at her newly-renamed son Henry to “Put down that rock! You know what happened last time!” we don’t need to be told that Henry’s previous name was Cain.

Not to give too much away, but the three acts of the play find the Antrobuses dealing with three great catastrophes: the aforementioned ice age, a great flood, and a war. And while the play taken as a whole isn’t linear in the sense of a traditional story, it does loop back on itself repeatedly, ultimately revealing a sense of hope for the human species even in the face of a seemingly endless string of calamities.

Superbly directed by Bev Newcomb-Madden, the all-star cast doesn’t miss a beat from top to bottom. Van de Hay as Sabina (the Rape of the Sabine women is but one of many literary and biblical references peppered throughout) is our sometime-narrator, our tenuous link to some sort of reality, taking great delight in jumping back and forth between the character and a not-at-all amused observer of these deluded people. As the family’s confident, cheerful patriarch, John Arp is a joy to watch on stage, making even the most absurd lines and situations believable. Billie McBride as his wife has a lovely, sardonic dry wit, the perfect long-suffering spouse: “It’s our 5000th wedding anniversary. I regret every moment of it.”

Their offspring, Gladys (Misha Johnson) and Henry/Cain (Ben Dicke) start off as rather dim-witted, goofy children but transform smoothly as the play progresses. Dicke especially has a challenge in Act Three, morphing into the embittered perpetrator--as well as victim--of the war.

A segment between him and the elder Antrobus is pulled off with heart-rending beauty, expressing a genuine horror at the violence humans routinely visit on each other.

There is endlessly more here to see and discuss, but have no doubt: the payoff is well worth letting Mr. Wilder’s wild ride take you where it will.
###

Saturday, April 11, 2009

i'm back baby!

Hey all. i came back, but i'm not sure why. it's all shitty and gray out today, and when i left it was 75 and sunny on the beach. (Although as sunburned as my back got, i probably wouldn't be able to do anything with all that sunshine anyway. :)

Here's a clip i just ran across of Unknown Hinson, the guy who voices Early Chyler on the Adult Swim show 'Squidbillies,' a show about a family of backwoods redneck North Georgia squids. You read that right. Here's the real guy who plays the cartoon family patriarch:



This is one of my favorite shows on the new Adult Swim line-up, not only because it's hilarious, and hilariously wrong (storylines have included Aunt Lil blowing up a meth lab in their shack, a crop of sheriff clones growing in a field, and an evil wealthy businessman named Dan Halen who tests a caustic, acidic cologne on the people of the town.) But it's also one of my favorites because they get so much right about what (some) N. Georgia people are like. I mean, i knew guys like this down there, and thank all the gods and godesses that i moved away when i was young.

Here's a link to one of the early episodes (adult swim won't let you embed.)

Enjoy, and don't forget about the big ol' Boozy Bunny show tomorrow night at Lucky Joe's, starting around 9:00.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

chocolate resurrection

and just in time for the ascension of Our Lord tm.


savannah

We went down to Savannah yesterday, and it reminded me of why I miss the South. Yes, there are terrible things wrong with the South. Yes, there are still horrible educational, racial, and general social justice problems there. And, yes, there are NASCAR fans.

However, there are also beautiful people, very friendly and welcoming people, and a human warmth that you just won’t find anywhere else.




So, Savannah. It’s all cobblestone roads, these incredible old buildings, and beautiful little pocket parks, not to mention the riverwalk area of shops and restaurants and bars. Oh, and did I mention you can drink outside? Walk around with a to-go cup of beer?



JUST LIKE NEW ORLEANS!!!

O how I miss that place. I need to go back for a visit sometime soon, I think.

At any rate, we had a lot of fun, did some (more) shopping (jesus christ, ladies) and hung out pretty much all day. There’s nothing more civilized than being able to drink a freakin’ beer outside on a nice sunny day. :)

A slightly more sedate and reverential part of Savannah is the cemetery--and really the entire old town part in general. I love ancient places (in America, New Orleans, Savannah and Williamsburg, VA are pretty much as ancient it gets) and Savannah is a place that is redolent with ghosts and history, again like New Orleans.



None of these are my pictures by the way, although i did take a bunch at the cemetery where these were taken. I love seeing those old graves of people who died in the early 1800s, trying to imagine what life must have been like for people who settled on these strange shores. I am especially drawn to the tiny, worn graves, virtually no more than a crooked rock barely propped up over someone's final resting place. Who were these people, these nobodies, not the rich or the famous, just the regular laborers? Does anyone remember them? Do they care? Did they die in pain, or alone? Was there justice for them, in their lives and in their deaths?


I don't know why, but I'm fascinated with these questions about the past. I guess I'm just a morbid fucker. :)


When I get home I'll upload the pics I took.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

gimme some hilton head

you are here.

Well, sorry for neglecting this space for the past few days. I’ve been in South Carolina since Saturday, hanging with my sister, my brother and his wife and son, a sort of kid’s vacation. When my mom passed away a couple of years ago, one of the things she left us was her time-share in Hilton Head, and we thought, what the hell? Might as well use it.

This place is unreal. No, I mean it is really ‘unreal.’ It’s like a giant gated community, all condos and mini-mall style shopping/restaurant areas, and fat white tourists from Indiana and Georgia. (I guess we’re fat white tourists from Pennsylvania and Colorado, but…)

i dress exactly like this guy when on vacation, except with black socks.

On Monday we went to the beach and the pool, squeezing out a bit of fun in the sun before a weather front moved in yesterday. Total white-trashing it up with a six of bud on the beach. It was like being in Lawrence of Arabia: the blowing sand in the 30 mph winds scoured my teeth clean, and watching people chase their stuff down the beach and the freezing-ass, shivering kids trying to brave the water was an endless source of amusement. But the sun was nice when it was out, and I did manage to take a (verrrrry chilly) dip in the ocean. For about two seconds. Today looks like it will be nicer, an tomorrow should be in the mid-70s.

I’m not complaining, having left Colorado early Saturday morning, driving on the ice-covered roads at fifty mph, then finally getting on the plane only to sit on the tarmac for an hour and a half waiting to de-ice, subsequently missing my connecting flight in Charlotte and having to wait four hours there. I must say that being here is just dandy with me.

It is freaky here, though. I feel like I have more to talk about with the servers and bartenders (yes, I have spent a decent portion of my time in bars, lol, teaching these low-landers how we roll at high altitude :) than I have in common with the graying golfers and tubby moms and dads with their eight little roly-poly screeching monsters. Our little monster, my nephew John Alex has been pretty awesome the whole time. He knows what an indoor voice is, and when Uncle Kurt is motherfucking sleeping, he motherfucking knows how to motherfucking play quietly. He’s four and loves to play pirates and run around like a maniac the rest of the time--my kind of people. :)

We went to a lighthouse yesterday, and stood outside in the wind for all of 30 seconds, then we did some shopping. A whole lot of shopping. A shit-ton of shopping. More shopping than I myself do in a year. Did I mention that my sister and my sister-in-law are both here? :)

this is the lighthouse we went to, but believe me, the water was not placid like this.

At any rate, fun times so far, and I will upload pics when I get a chance. Looking forward to being back in NoCo soon, and don’t forget I’m hosting the Boozy Bunny festivities at Lucky Joe’s on Sunday eve. Kevin dresses up as Boozy Bunny and we all, well, drink and have an all-star open mike, with me (the allest of all-stars) Joe, Chad Price from Drag the River, P-Man from Motorhome and a couple of others. It’s free and it’s a loverly way to celebrate the second coming of Our Lord. Or was that the first coming? Whatever. That guy’s got no staying power. No wonder his porn career was so short.

Ha! Short! Get it? :)

C y’all soon,

kjb

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

a bit of fry and laurie

One more post for you today, in honor of April Fools' Day.

Here are a couple of my favorite fools, who are actually quite brilliant in their calculated foolishness, Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie.

For those of you who like the show 'House' and didn't know that Hugh Laurie is a long-time (and very successful) comedy actor, you're in for a surprise. He starred on a UK sketch show called 'A Bit of Fry and Laurie' for mmm years, and he was also in one iteration of 'Blackadder,' arguably the funniest season they did.

The youtube link also has on the 'related' list many of their other sketches.

In this one, they parody an American-style talk show.

Best line ever: 'I think we're going to have to take a vomit break.'

Enjoy.

filthy thespians

no, they don't.

I went and saw 'Radio Golf' the other night for a review that will be published in the Post tomorrow, but here's a mandroppings exclusive!!! A day early. :)

If you're not familiar with playwright August Wilson, read about him here. Amazing man.

Also, I forgot to post my review of 'The Visitor' at Miner's Alley a while back--a helluva show, if you're like me and you get into the whole god vs. atheism debate. In that show, Sigmund Freud encounters a man who claims to be God on the night before he flees Vienna, and the two of them have a veerrrrry interesting conversation. Here's the link to 'The Visitor' review, and here's the 'Radio Golf' review in its entirety.

kisses,
kjb

RADIO GOLF - 3 stars - running time 2:27

Blight. It’s an ugly word, redolent of failure and hopelessness. There was a time when newscasters spoke of creeping blight in many American cities as if it were cancer, consuming poor, often largely African-American neighborhoods.

So when two real estate developers in August Wilson’s “Radio Golf” celebrate a phone call with joyous whoops of “Blight! Blight!” it’s a little disconcerting, especially in this age of unprecedented foreclosure rates.

Are these men mad?

Actually they’re more like “Mad Men,” confident, up-and-coming players in a new economic reality, only this is the go-go late 1990s. Harmond Wilks and his partner Roosevelt Hicks (Terrence Riggins and Darryl Alan Reed, respectively) are counting on the city’s designation of blight in order to secure federal funding for a $100 million redevelopment project in the troubled Hill neighborhood. The final play in Wilson’s Pittsburgh Cycle in a dual sense--capping the ten decades of the 20th century as well as the last Pittsburgh play he wrote--has Wilks and Hicks set to cash in on the official humiliation of their childhood home.

The irony is mostly lost on the two men, though less so for Wilks, who is also gearing up for a run at becoming the city’s first African-American mayor with the help of his wife Mame, (Kim Staunton) who has ambitions of her own. Wilks is positioning himself as a crusader against racially-based police unfairness, and through Riggins’ heartfelt portrayal he seems genuine in his desire to lift all boats, even while lifting his own. Reed’s Roosevelt Hicks is less high-minded, with a near-lascivious craving to enter the white-controlled world of big money and power, at any cost.

Into the picture walk a couple of strange characters, a loopy construction worker named Sterling Johnson (Harvy Blanks) and an old man, Elder Joseph Barlow (played by Charles Weldon) who claims to own one of the houses scheduled for demolition--1839 Wylie, the former home of one Aunt Ester.

If that name and others sound familiar, it’s no accident. In “Radio Golf” Wilson connects a number of modern characters to family bloodlines from past stories in ways that are too complex to go into here. Suffice to say, Harmond Wilks delves into the history of the house, discovering that there may be legal complications in the way he and his company acquired it.

Director Israel Hicks--who, with this production is now the first to direct all ten plays of the cycle with one company--elicits riveting performances from all five actors as these characters chase money and a new life, even while the past pursues them.

Staunton’s role could easily be considered a throwaway by some actors, but she conveys both her character’s ambition and love for her husband with a genuine ferocity, culminating in a heart-wrenching scene that is almost physically painful to witness.

As Elder Joseph Barlow, Weldon is befuddled yet cagey, full of wit and wisdom buried in seemingly nonsensical meanderings--and he is also the heart of the show. His character and that of Blanks’ delightfully unhinged Sterling Johnson have double-duty as truth-tellers to the blinkered Buppies they encounter, as well as being much of the comic relief. Aside from a few too-big moments early on from Blanks, they are both dead-on believable.

As is the connection and the ensuing tensions between Riggins and Reed as the business partners. But here’s where the play falls a little flat as well--through no fault of the director or the company--and it’s more a cause for sadness than dissatisfaction. Finished as Wilson was dying of liver cancer, the play never got the ruthless pre-Broadway workshopping and rewrites his previous plays had, and thus the story seems occasionally clunky, with a number of monologues that are more long-winded than necessary. More troubling, there are sometimes character zig-zags rather than arcs; one character in particular changes in a way that is just too abrupt to be fully believed.

To be sure, it’s a beautiful play, crammed full of all-too-real human moments, as were all of Wilson’s plays. But one can only wonder what it might have become had he had more time.
###

passive parents



Okay, I've posted about this guy before, and I have to say he hits it dead-on most of the time. This is from people who deserve it, as in people who deserve to be punched in the face:

'this 153 word diatribe is meant for the parents of snotty-nosed devil children. The ones who ruin a perfectly good Saturday excursion to the mall by letting their offspring throw temper-tantrums completely unchecked.
...
We know you can’t always control the little fuckers, but at the very least take them outside. Don’t just stand there like deer in headlights while they lick the payphones and kick shoppers in the shins.'

Hallelujah, brother.



Overly passive parents drive me insane. When i used to live in Boulder it was a fucking EPIDEMIC. Little Johnny might be traumatized if I raise my voice to him, so a big hearty 'fuck you' to anyone else eating in the restaurant where he is screaming at the top of his lungs.

As the PWDI guy says, you maybe can't control your spawn's every word and action, but at least have the fucking courtesy to take them somewhere else when they start acting like the little parasites they are.

At the restaurant i worked at in Boulder there was a yuppie couple who had two boys that we (the staff) secretly named Damien and Satan. These boys were no more than maybe six and eight, and they were so bad the family actually got 86'ed from the restaurant, on more than one occasion. As in they weren't allowed to come back. We wouldn't take their reservations. That shit rocks. THAT is the way to run a restaurant. :)

One night i was waiting on them, and i witnessed the kids slide under the booth they were sitting in, crawl underneath to the next booth, and steal the woman's purse who was sitting there. The parents, meanwhile, no matter what their foul brood was doing--yelling, kicking each other, stealing, lighting the restaurant on fire--would carry on with their vapid conversation, completely ignoring their vile spawn until someone came along and told them to STFU or get out.

And i will even concede that, despite the proven fact that children are indeed parasitic vermin that spread disease like rats on old wooden ships, the kids themselves aren't necessarily (or at least wholly) to blame. The blame lies with the parents who can't be bothered with, like, you know, parenting. When I was a kid (here we go...) and me or my brother would act like a shit in public, one of our parents would immediately take us outside and give us a Stern Talking To, or worse. Sorry, i don't condone child abuse, but a whack across the ass isn't going to kill a kid, and it might just make them behave with a little respect for others.

What a crazy concept! Respect for others!

they smell worse on the inside...

Star Wars geekery via neatorama:
The tauntaun sleeping bag. You don't even need a light saber to slice the thing open. I like how the inside of the bag has renderings of intestines and junk. With obligatory 'AWWWW!' pic of a cute kid sleeping inside a representation of a slain, gutted (if fictitious) animal.

Friday, March 27, 2009

sure, it's good poetry...

...but is it really worth $20,000?

From the hand of Elvis to a buyer at an auction, here's an original poem written by The (apparently cranky) King himself.



'The King of Rock scrawled the rhyme on a piece of paper after apparently killing a robin that perched on his window ledge.'

Full article here, via yesbutnobutyes.

Oh, and it you're hungry, there's always the Elvis sandwich.

i'll save some for later


Yeah, could you wrap those to-go?

via cracked

Thursday, March 26, 2009

bad boys, bad boys




Okay. So here's a story for all my friends who wonder how i can be such a caveman and NOT EVEN HAVE A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT.

Seems an Indiana cop posted a bunch of ridiculous shite on his facebook profile, including the above pics of him, as he described it, drinking a lot of beer and horsing around with friends. Yes, that is a .357 he has pointed at his buddy's head. He also demonstrated that true 'protect and serve' attitude:

'On February 19, while state records indicate Pestow was working his overnight shift, the Trooper's Facebook site shows this entry at 3:22 a.m.: "It's cold AND snowing?!?! I can't possibly work in these conditions."'

Aw. Poor baby. I guess in Indiana the criminals stay inside when the weather is bad. He also showed a healthy attitude -- especially in a police officer, a state trooper no less -- towards the homeless:

'Pestow also weighed in on the issue of people who resist arrest and threaten police officers. Referring to an incident in California in which Fresno Police officers punched a homeless man during his arrest, Pestow wrote: "Let someone, homeless or not, try and stab me with a pen, knife, spoon, etc, not only will he fail, he'll probably end up shot. These people should have died when they were young anyway, i'm just doing them a favor." [sic]'

And the thing about facebook is, knowing myself as I purport to, I just know I'd upload some incriminating shite that would get me in trouble. Hell, I could lose my endorsement deals like Michael Phelps. And that would be tragic. :)

This is another via fark story. I guess I'm feeling a bit lazy today with the snow and all. At least I have beer and weed.

Shit! See?? There goes that endorsement.