Tennesseeing is Tennebelieving

And what they Tennessesaw they cannot UnTennessee

Headline reads:

"Former Tennessee Lawmaker Allegedly Drove 90 mph While Masturbating out Window"

Witness Deanna Dykes said Blakely was "waving, grabbed his shirt, kind of pulled it up."
"He was taking his hand, wetting his mouth, and masturbating," witness Deborah Sturgill said.

And another:

Witness Kelly Street offered a similar account.

"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating... and that's when it got really, really bad. I wouldn't look over any more, and I wrote his tag number down on my hand, which I believe he noticed, and he exited very quickly," Street said.

Wait a minute. He put his penis out the window at 90 mph, and you say "...that's when it got really, really bad??"

I think not. I say kudos, good sir.

Hell, if he's that coordinated, not to mention talented, not to mention determined, maybe he deserves another shot at office?

You should see what he's got in his other fist.

Vertical Cooking

Um...kay...



At first I was a little creeped out by this ad for the Rollie Eggmaster Cooking System, probably due to the, er, ever so slightly suggestive nature of the photo accompanying the story I saw on Laughing Squid here.

 Riiigghhtt...

Not that there's anything vaguely sexual about the shot, but why do we feel we need more foods in this, um, "easy to eat shape?"

And then of course, you see the bit about "Just crack your egg, pour it in, and watch it pop up in minutes!!"

Of course it "pops up." I mean, what else, right?

But when you watch the promo video above, I could see the benefits of this. Heck, I want to host a party serving only cylindrical foods! I want to be able to grab an egg-stick on my way out the door! Or a mini-burrito! Sold!

I feel pretty

 

 Now tell me I'm a pretty eagle.

Warhol at CSU

I'm doing some research on Andy Warhol for an upcoming project and one of the most fascinating stories about him--at least from the perspective of a Colorado resident and former resident of Fort Collins--is the story of the giant soup can.

 In 1981 Warhol came to visit Fort Collins for an exhibition of his work at CSU. After having sent his specifications on the construction of a trio of giant soup cans, Warhol himself came out to visit and signed the pieces (which had been assembled and painted by a CSU student.)

Andy Warhol at CSU campus in 1981.

There were apparently three giant cans originally, one of which was sold, and one of which still stands at the University Center for the Arts (formerly Fort Collins High School) on Remington Street.

Andy and friend.

I Scream...That is All

Um, no. No, thanks, I don't think I want any ice cream anymore today...or...ever, really.

This ad is apparently from a Philly area ice cream shop called Little Baby's.

I have an idea for a slogan for them: "Little Baby's: Bringing You Big Fucking Nightmares Since 2011"



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the flux machine

These are really cool and creepy all at once. This guy Kevin J Weir takes old Library of Congress photos then makes weird gifs out of them.



They remind me a little of Terry Gilliam's old Monty Python animations, although he had to use painstaking cardboard cut-outs for his.

Television is bad for your eyes, kids.

Here are more of Weir's weird works.

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Easter

What a weird holiday. I guess that's what you're going to get when you smash together two or three different traditions and try to make one thing out of them. The Urban Dictionary definition is as good as any.

He only gave your child those eggs to fatten him up.

2. Easter
April 8, 2012 Urban Word of the Day

The celebration in which juvenile primates hunt for the colored shells of unborn dinosaur young planted by a small, furry woodland creature all in commemoration of a middle ages cult belief that 2000 years ago a zombie walked the earth.
What's that screeching from the park? It's just the little kids looking for easter eggs.

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heeeerrre's...confusion.

Marilyn...Jack...Marilyn...Jack...Marilyn...

robot in the rain

Okay, so we got us a robot, a kitty cat, and some whimsy. Eat it up. You know you love it. via

party hard

And thus endeth the lesson.

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yes, you are weird, but...

Frankly, I only ever like the weird ones. Normal people skeeve me out a little.

Same for stupid--or at least smart people who make stupid decisions. Those who always make the right, smart choices are usually really, really boring.

that happens to you too?!?

happy halloween!

A little late but I just ran across this.

I find it strangely jolly. Should I look into getting my dosages changed?



It's by an artist named Mark Elliot. He seems to have more artwork on his site.

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