A Bunch of Randoms

Just a bunch of pics I ran across recently that I suppose loosely fit into the concept of atheism, or at least being as disrespectful as possible toward religion. Which I find a very loverly activity.

All Hail Snoopthulu. 

Seriously, you guys...not funny. 

And then finally, Paul Gaugin. With his 'Yellow Christ.' Which I can't help but translate to 'Piss Christ.' Ha ha, because I'm...like that. 

Well, Hello, Ladies

Found this on Reddit under the heading "When I approach a girl in the bar." 

And I can't stop laughing about it.

Oh, and One More Thing...

Hate the Stupidity, Not the Stupid

To borrow a phrase from the homophobic, fundamentalist religious right, a la "We don't hate the sinner, just the sin:"

I don't think religious people are necessarily stupid. It's just the things they believe that are stupid.

To wit:

Former Arkansas governor and GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee attributed today’s deadly massacre in an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut to the lack of God and religion in public schools.

Addressing the tragedy on Fox News, Huckabee dismissed calls for stricter gun control and claimed that future violence can be prevented by solving matters of “the heart” and turning to God.

Putting aside for a moment the particularly annoying phenomenon that occurs anytime there is a disaster, wherein the religious are suddenly privy to the inner workings of their god (skipped Corinthians, did we? "For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him?"

The fact that he would simultaneously comment on a lack of god in the schools (how is he everywhere, then, Mike?) and dismiss the notion of man improving the world in which he lives is bad enough.

But then he goes on to say:

We ask why there is violence in our schools, but we’ve systematically removed God from our schools. Should we be so surprised that schools would become a place of carnage because we’ve made it a place where we don’t want to talk about eternity, life, what responsibility means, accountability?

First of all, that's pretty sweet, that you think your god is so evil he would punish little children for the sins of the fathers--who presumably are the ones who "took god out of the schools."

Second, um, accountability?? Responsibility?? From RELIGION? The place where you go to have your sins absolved? Eat a cracker, swig some wine, say some words, and boom, you're all set to go a'sinnin' again. That is the opposite of accountability.

And secondly, the place where you can blame or thank a magic man in the sky for everything that happens in the world is not the right place to seek personal responsibility. These dickheads would better serve the world--not to mention themselves--by just shutting up when these events occur, and letting their god deal with them. He's doing some fine work, by the way.

And I'm thinking that if people like Mike Huckabee and Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson can freely interpret the mind of god, so can I.

He says you should fuck off.

Quotes for the Day

"If money be not thy servant, it will be thy master. The covetous man cannot so properly be said to possess wealth, as that may be said to possess him."

--Francis Bacon, essayist, philosopher, and statesman (1561-1626)

"Art has nothing to do with taste. Art is not there to be tasted."

--Max Ernst, sculptor, painter, poet (1891-1976)

From an exhibition by Australian photographer Vee Speers.

Life's Too Short

Yeah, Grumpy Cat. Cheer up.

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Also:

This is kinda true. We are a whiny, bitchy bunch of spoiled shits.

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I feel pretty

 

 Now tell me I'm a pretty eagle.

It's all in your head

Butterflies

I don't know why I really liked this. I like the chaos mixed with beauty, but also I think I was struck by the use of negative space to depict the butterflies, which are in fact dying out.

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replacing people's profile pics

...with your own.

This is so stupid, but so funny at the same time. This guy "reproduced" people's FB profile pics before friending them. Made me laugh imagining the perplexed faces on the recipients of his friend requests.

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Warhol at CSU

I'm doing some research on Andy Warhol for an upcoming project and one of the most fascinating stories about him--at least from the perspective of a Colorado resident and former resident of Fort Collins--is the story of the giant soup can.

 In 1981 Warhol came to visit Fort Collins for an exhibition of his work at CSU. After having sent his specifications on the construction of a trio of giant soup cans, Warhol himself came out to visit and signed the pieces (which had been assembled and painted by a CSU student.)

Andy Warhol at CSU campus in 1981.

There were apparently three giant cans originally, one of which was sold, and one of which still stands at the University Center for the Arts (formerly Fort Collins High School) on Remington Street.

Andy and friend.

Horror Daycare

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Very clever and funny video from College Humor. 

Do you want a juice box, Danny? ... Okay, does Tony want a juice box then?

We Certainly Are

Priorities, people. Priorities.

Don't Smoke Weed

Don't smoke weed, because dragons.

Ooh! Piece of Candy!

Coming soon to a Wal-Mart near you: The Child Trap! (patent pending)

Some Funny Things

Just some random funny pics that I've had floating around on my comp for a while.

The Night Larry Hagman Drove Keith Moon to Rehab

Yet more proof that the 1970s were just completely bonkers.



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'Trane

The Artist Prepares.

Grapes

Grapes of Wrath by better book titles.

Latter Days

On a break from play-writing the other day I wrote this. I guess it's a poem.

Latter Days

In these latter days, as we blithely sip cocktails beneath a boiling November sun;
Where the light is hot and low and lurid, sickly in a tangerine sky;
In these latter days, when it takes so many chemicals to make us feel remotely human;
And we’re so grateful for the table scraps they toss us;
In these latter days, when we casually burn our sole resource down to the ground;
When we’ve pretty much just given up with so much left undone;
In these latter days, which are inexplicable to children;
And all children are the offspring of fools;
In these latter days, where any brief voice of reason is quickly smothered in lucre;
Where the only sound the airwaves carry is the flutter of paper blown by plutocrats;
In these latter days, where parents whore out their children, not in black midnight alleys, but in the full mad glow of the national myth;
Where the dumb and venal rule, and the quavering smart are purchased like collectibles;
In these latter days, where we refuse to know for sure the things we all know for sure;
Where we hunker down alone each night in the blue screen glow;
Where ignorance is rewarded, and culture is a mockery of itself;
In these latter days, where the weight of a crumbling empire teeters on the overloaded shopping carts of the homeless;
In these latter days of death and circuses;
In these latter days, which no one dares call the last days;
Where love seems a long-ago memory, compassion a cruel joke;
In these latter days, there are no saints, only killers;
And every killer is a suicide.

kjb - 9.20.12

Victimology, Christian-Style

Yes, we should definitely investigate Hollywood filmmakers, the creators of "South Park," and anyone else who "denigrates religious beliefs." Good idea, Values Voters Summit-guy. (Full article here, via crooks and liars.)



In a little one-minute clip, this guy snappily demonstrates a couple of the huge, glaring hypocrisies of the red-meat, nutbar wing of the GOP. The party of freedom, the party of "get your government hands off my Medicare," is also home to many, many people who believe there would be nothing wrong with having government intervene in the religious lives of its citizens--as long as that religion is Christianity.

Which of course illustrates the other hypocrisy, that these people are always the first to cry "persecution" anytime anyone says or does anything remotely in opposition to their beliefs. As if to have a set of beliefs means that everyone else in the world must believe them too. Or if not believe, at least not challenge or question them, because to question someone's beliefs is to "disrespect" them.

So it is that the religion of 76 to 80 percent of Americans--around 240 million people--is the victim here, being "denigrated," warranting investigation.

It must really suck to be a persecuted majority. Methinks perhaps you guys are doing something wrong here if you're being persecuted by the rest of us.

The Truth

The truth about NFL teams. 

Goodell's example, indeed. And, yes, you should throw the ball, Ben.

Click to embiggen.

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EDIT: Okay, click to embiggen doesn't seem to work, so here's a few examples. Go to the site to see them all though. 

 

I feel a little flat

No, It Was...

Deep Thoughts, Emo

Go cry emo kid rules.

Dark random

Just some random cool pics I found recently, I think on fasel.

Jump around

 Sometimes we all need to just jump on the bed.

McKayla is Not Impressed

By now you've surely seen the way the interwebz took McKayla Maroney's unhappy visage at winning a silver, not the gold she was expected to win, thus:

Well, whether she's a good sport or not, at least the girl is showing she gets a funny when she sees one. Here's an instagram she posted when she and her friends discovered the pool where they were staying was closed:

Which, you have to admit, is a pretty cool and level-headed response to instant fame of a somewhat ridiculing and maybe slightly cruel fashion, especially for a 16-year-old.

Plus it's funny.

Pat Robertson Is (Still) A Deslusional Douche

Ah. Well, thanks for explaining that, Pat. Via rawstory.

Televangelist Pat Robertson on Monday reviewed the case of a shooting at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin that left at least seven dead and came to the conclusion that places of worship were being attacked because “people who are atheists, they hate God.”

Of course. The fact that the shooter seems to have been a white supremacist who had a tattoo of an obscure Christian-appropriated symbol notwithstanding.

Reports also indicated that Page had a number of tattoos, including one that said “9/11″ and a Celtic knot, which is commonly used a symbol of the Christian Holy Trinity. There is no evidence that Page was an atheist.

Here's something for poor demented old Pat from the King James Bible: "For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him?"

But here's something I found elsewhere for him.

To Murder A Muppet

And people wonder why I’m always on about Christianity.

One of the most common questions I get when religious ranting occurs--you like how I refer to my own ranting in the passive voice, as if it were out of my power, a natural phenomenon like the rain or car accidents or the sunrise?--is something like, “But why the hostility? Why the vitriol toward Christianity and other religions?”

Well, it’s partially because of idiots like this guy. Here’s another one to go with the Chick-Fil-A brouhaha from the culture wars file:

Radio Pastor Calls For Homo-Friendly Muppets To Be Executed.

(Okay, that's my headline. It's still better than the one they used...)

So anyway, a person named Kevin Swanson, who is a “radio pastor,” whatever that might mean, went on the air last Friday and essentially pined for 1500 years of murderous homophobia:

“A Christian perspective ultimately brought the death penalty upon homosexuality between roughly 350 AD and roughly 1850 or so, for about 1,500 years that form of life had pretty much been eliminated except here and there, it was in the closet, but it was almost unheard of for over 1,000 years, until recently,” Swanson explained. “Of course, now you have a massive, massive increase in this kind of thing.”

Which, whatever, right? Typical fire-breathing idiocy one would expect from the radio version of a loving, Christ-centered ministry, right?

Only this guy was talking about...

Muppets.

Yes, Radio Pastor Swanson is on record calling for Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy to be, um, executed:

“And Kermit the Frog is not eating Chick-fil-A either,” Swanson continued. “Maybe Dan Cathy should consider doing a frog filet for one of the sandwiches.”

“I don’t think the frog filet will sell, just a little marketing advice, I think Miss Piggy on a bun, that’s a better bet, the winner,” Buehner suggested.

“Miss Piggy on a bun, that sounds good, a fried pig on a bun,” Swanson agreed.

These missionaries of Christ’s teachings--you know, things like “Love thy neighbor,” “Judge not lest ye be judged,” stuff like that--went on to speculate that The Muppets, beloved of countless millions of children and adults alike for maybe 50 years, “...take the sodomy route,” and likely support NAMBLA.

And let’s make this perfectly clear: this “radio pastor” (I picture one of those tall, wood-cabinet 1930s-era radios tricked out with a priest’s collar and a cross--which would contain an equal amount of brain matter and heart as Radio Pastor Swanson) has publicly called for THE MURDER OF PUPPETS.

Kneel down, son. Radio Pastor Swanson wants to feed you the body of a man. But first have some wine...

He thinks someone should kill heretical pieces of cloth, wire and stuffing. He believes Miss Piggy and Kermit should be burned until their ping pong ball eyes pop in the flames of righteous anger. He wants to hear a final “Kerrrrrmmmmiiiiiieeee!” as Piggy’s tattered fabric falls from her to the all-consuming fire of retribution. Good to see we've made so much progress.

Again, I don’t think this can be said often enough: Radio Pastor Swanson wants to kill Muppets.

That is the gayest got-dayum frog I ever seen. Hey! Is he making eyes at me, Vern?

First of all, someone quickly explain to Radio Pastor Swanson where the voices come from when he sees Muppets talking on his teevee screen, which he must have clicked past when he took a breather from watching sweaty, rassling men in tights while simultaneously masturbating, eating pork rinds and moon pies and swilling Jack on his Laz-E-Boy recliner dressed only in his rancid, yellowed underwear.

(Authorial license taken; I have no evidence as to the state of Radio Pastor Swanson’s underwear.)

Second, please Do Not explain to Radio Pastor Swanson how Muppets have a hole in their backside where someone--often a man--inserts his hand inside them, and then moves it around for the entertainment of children. That bit of enlightenment might not go over so well.

Or, on second thought, maybe that would sway him...no. Probably not.

SIDEBAR: Goddamn don’t these people love this kind of shit every time an election rolls around? Blow that dog whistle--uh, so to speak, heh heh--and the plebs will rally around whatever stupid cause you’ve cooked up for them and forget how you’ve been screwing them like Bangkok butt-boys for the past...well, forever. Our overlords must observe these periodic squabbles amongst us Small Folk with the amusement of humans watching The Puppy Bowl: they think we’re adorable in the way we scrabble around and beat each other up, but they know the results don’t matter in the least when it comes to the big picture. The Real Game is beyond our ken.

***

To be sure, I grant that not all Christians are like this. Not all of them are hateful, ignorant, superstitious, batty douchebags so full of ill-placed vitriol and rage and likely repressed homosexual urges that they can’t see 2 inches in front of them. (Actually, it’s 5-6 inches on average for U.S. males. That seems to be the distance that is making these people so, um, “angry,” as it were. Maybe they just hate where their personal “compass” is pointing?)

"But heck!" you say. "Confused or not, some of my best friends are Christians!"

The problem with the “Nice Christian” scenario--aka the “He’s One of the Good-Uns” gambit--is that for every decent, kind, sane, chill Christian you can show me, there are a hundred examples like the above throughout history. Not living today, necessarily; I realize the moonbats will always be louder and more apparent than the Good-Uns. But over the past 2000 years--4000, if you count some of the insane vitriol in the Torah from whence most of this lunacy stemmed--there has not been any single organization that has done more to hold back human progress; spread bile, hatred and prejudice; foster sexual repression, confusion and ultimately deviance; promulgate torture, murder and outright warfare than the Catholic Church.

And of course I realize you can’t conflate Catholicism with Christianity; so say the protestants, and they have a point.

But guess what: without the Garden of Eden, without the Fall, without Original Sin--all that deliciously tragi-dramatic, emo stuff for which the Catholics have such a sick, self-flagellatory penchant--without that you got no need for Jesus to forgive us.

Without Jesus, you got no belief system.

And if you take away this belief system, imagine for a moment the madness that goes away with it. Imagine where humankind could be without religion bogging us down still! In this day and age, we know too much, and our problems are too dire to allow this bullshit Iron Age superstition and the ignorant people who cling to it to prevent us from at least attempting to save ourselves, even if it is too late.

And of course, many will point out that much of what I’m talking about is in the past, The Inquisition, the Crusades, the execution of homosexuals of which Radio Pastor Swanson spoke.

But that’s exactly the point: the hatred, bile, repression and rage we see today--at places like, say, your local Chick-Fil-A--stems directly from the same source. I argue that it’s not aberration; it’s exactly in line with what has gone on all along.

I don’t hate Jesus; I don’t even hate his followers. I hate the stifling, constraining, guilt-ridden message of self-loathing, obeisance and yes, hatred that they spread, overtly and covertly. Religion--and in the west, yes, I’m mostly talking about Christianity, because it is the most visible and most prevalent and its adherents the most vociferous--is like a gaseous poison. It's a miasma that hangs over everything humans have ever tried to do to raise ourselves up.

It’s time for a breath of fresh air--the smell of roasting Muppets notwithstanding.

--kjb

###

I Scream...That is All

Um, no. No, thanks, I don't think I want any ice cream anymore today...or...ever, really.

This ad is apparently from a Philly area ice cream shop called Little Baby's.

I have an idea for a slogan for them: "Little Baby's: Bringing You Big Fucking Nightmares Since 2011"



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Glitter bomb

And here's one for all the people "celebrating" Chik-Fil-A today. You are all fabulous.

Fabulously stupid.

Yes, let's all celebrate deep-fried, factory-farmed chicken sold to us by a billion-dollar corporation--that frankly doesn't need any help--and which is run by a hate-filled idiot. What the hell is wrong with this country/generation/era? In the 60s people stood up against racism, for equality, to stop a war.

Today they stand up for...chicken. Corporate profits and chicken.

You people are idiots.

Have some glitter. It may be capable of deeper thought than you are.

Every time you dance

...a T Rex cries.