Monday, August 16, 2010

eldest sibling the smarterest? i think not.

via fark

As a middle child I can assure you that this article is an utter load of the usual liberal media propaganda you can expect from CNN:

Research presented this month at the American Psychological Association found that firstborns score higher on aptitude tests, yet younger siblings obtain higher grade point averages.

And is if this weren't enough of an affront to middle children everywhere, they decide to add insult to injury:

The younger ones are harder working, the siblings agreed in questionnaires they filled about themselves and their siblings.

Congratulations, CNN, for proving your filthy older/younger bias, leaving the middle children, once again, sadly neglected.

Oh, but don't worry about us! We're used to it.

Yep, being a middle child is a lot like this.

OH, YES, MY FRIEND. This is NOT the first time we've been shunned, oh no sir.

We have been treated in this shabby fashion all our lives and you know what? We may not be as smart as our older siblings, we may not work as hard(??) as our younger siblings. (Sidebar: Oh, please. The youngest just get treated like the sun shines out of their ass and they are all great simply BECAUSE they were the youngest and the final effort at CUTENESS that our delusional, short-attention span parents popped out, and for no other reason.)

But by God. Think about this: all those years when you were lavishing praise on the oldest and the youngest, what do you think we middle children were doing alone in our rooms?

No, not that. Well, maybe.

But also, we were PLOTTING. We were planning our eventual revenge.

Which, as we all know, is a dish best served cold.

All I'm saying is watch your back, you smart and hard-working older and younger siblings.

Watch. Your. Damn. Back.

You're goddamn right, 'sociable and creative.'
Good-looking and well-adjusted too, motherfucker.
Don't make me diplomatically calm your ass down with the back of my hand.

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