Wednesday, March 25, 2009

toilet sex, or sofa sex?

this looks more comfortable than toilet sex. and safer too.

via fark.

Um, garsh, ma'am. Toilet sex or sofa sex... Um, if those are my only choices I'm going to play it safe and say 'sofa sex,' just because I'm not real sure exactly what you mean by 'toilet sex.'

Turns out that Florida isn't the only place where teachers try to get it on with their students, despite the preponderance of evidence that demonstrates that YOU ARE GOING TO GET CAUGHT.

Ah, if only teenagers could keep a secret...


But i digress. :)

This story is out of Sweden, where a teacher has been fired over sending a 16-year-old boy inappropriate photos and texts. The toilet sex question is one of the messages that were made public (and, btw, what the hell does that mean? Is she into enemas? Diapering? Banging in the boy's room?) The boy also allegedly texted her back asking if she had ever had sex on asphalt:

'She replied in the affirmative but added that it was "damn hard on my back and knees."'

Her knees?!?!? So, essentially she's saying she blew someone in a parking lot, at least once. WTF is wrong with the Swedes? Haven't you people ever heard of the back seat of a car? Volvos look real comfy.

But another funny thing that caught my eye was this:

'The teacher has denied that she is the woman depicted in photos sent to the boy's phone, a claim contradicted by her colleagues and the school principal.'

Here's one of the alleged pics of the teacher:

So, based on that picture, her colleagues and HER BOSS could positively identify her? How many of your co-workers would you be able to pick out of a line-up based strictly on a nude, faceless pic with the person's ass sticking up in the air? I have just three questions: why could her co-workers recognize her in that position, who is this Swedish slut of a teacher, AND CAN WE GET HER A WORK VISA PLEAZE???

Oh. I guess if she likes teenagers, I'm screwed anyway, and not in a good way.

And then there's that whole 'toilet sex' thing...I just don't want to know.

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