Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Thanks a lot CU.


Not only has science ruined everything fun we used to be able to consume--cigarettes, cheeseburgers, fried food, drinking to excess, heroin--not only have they ruined random sex with strangers, now scientists at CU are just fucking with us.

They are reporting that showerheads may contain a variety of bacteria that could lead to pulmonary problems--problems like tuberculosis:

Scientists removed the showerhead from the pipe, swabbed the inside, and extracted DNA from that swab.

"We found a fairly high number (of M. avium)," said Baumgartner. "It was surprising how consistent it was."

The risk of illness is lower for people who prefer baths to showers. That's because showers act like aerosol sprays, and the pathogen-filled droplets are easily inhaled into the deepest part of the lungs.

"Pathogen-filled droplets easily inhaled into the deepest part of the lungs?!?!?!?"

Great. So, not only do I have to give up smoking and Wendy's, and take up running just to break even. Now you're telling me I can't even enjoy a shower after I get home from sweating out globules of cholesterol and whiskey?

Thanks a lot, CU. I want my tuition back.

I think he's a lunger.
Yup. He showered too often.

And, not to put a conspiracy theory spin on this, but isn't it interesting that one of the stinkiest, hippiest schools in America does a study that finds that showers might be bad?

Hmm. Watch for patchouli sales to skyrocket.

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