Always Be Closing

Okay, once again, while innocently trying to work, fark called to me for just a*quick check* of teh funneh. And here's what I found, no bullshit, linked through fark to legacy.com, which is apparently an online obituary site (a big wtf on that at some future date):

Dimmick, Chuck P.
Born December 29, 1958 in Riverside, CA passed away suddenly on April 18, 2009 while attending a NASCAR race to watch his favorite driver, Jeff Gordon. Chuck was the loving husband of Kristen and devoted father of Dillon. Chuck was the Director of Marketing for the Lund Cadillac Group. We are sure he would still want all to know that 0.9% financing is still available on all New 2008 Hummer H2's. A mass celebrating Chuck's life will be held at 11:00 AM on Friday, April 24th at St. Patrick's Church - 10815 N. 84th St. Scottsdale, AZ. Arrangements handled by Hansen Desert Hill Mortuary 480-991-5800. In Lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Dillon Dimmick Donation Fund at any Bank of America.

As one fark commenter noted: I guess he got the steak knives.

Another: A pulse is for CLOSERS!

one of chuck's satisfied customers.