Wednesday, April 8, 2009

gimme some hilton head

you are here.

Well, sorry for neglecting this space for the past few days. I’ve been in South Carolina since Saturday, hanging with my sister, my brother and his wife and son, a sort of kid’s vacation. When my mom passed away a couple of years ago, one of the things she left us was her time-share in Hilton Head, and we thought, what the hell? Might as well use it.

This place is unreal. No, I mean it is really ‘unreal.’ It’s like a giant gated community, all condos and mini-mall style shopping/restaurant areas, and fat white tourists from Indiana and Georgia. (I guess we’re fat white tourists from Pennsylvania and Colorado, but…)

i dress exactly like this guy when on vacation, except with black socks.

On Monday we went to the beach and the pool, squeezing out a bit of fun in the sun before a weather front moved in yesterday. Total white-trashing it up with a six of bud on the beach. It was like being in Lawrence of Arabia: the blowing sand in the 30 mph winds scoured my teeth clean, and watching people chase their stuff down the beach and the freezing-ass, shivering kids trying to brave the water was an endless source of amusement. But the sun was nice when it was out, and I did manage to take a (verrrrry chilly) dip in the ocean. For about two seconds. Today looks like it will be nicer, an tomorrow should be in the mid-70s.

I’m not complaining, having left Colorado early Saturday morning, driving on the ice-covered roads at fifty mph, then finally getting on the plane only to sit on the tarmac for an hour and a half waiting to de-ice, subsequently missing my connecting flight in Charlotte and having to wait four hours there. I must say that being here is just dandy with me.

It is freaky here, though. I feel like I have more to talk about with the servers and bartenders (yes, I have spent a decent portion of my time in bars, lol, teaching these low-landers how we roll at high altitude :) than I have in common with the graying golfers and tubby moms and dads with their eight little roly-poly screeching monsters. Our little monster, my nephew John Alex has been pretty awesome the whole time. He knows what an indoor voice is, and when Uncle Kurt is motherfucking sleeping, he motherfucking knows how to motherfucking play quietly. He’s four and loves to play pirates and run around like a maniac the rest of the time--my kind of people. :)

We went to a lighthouse yesterday, and stood outside in the wind for all of 30 seconds, then we did some shopping. A whole lot of shopping. A shit-ton of shopping. More shopping than I myself do in a year. Did I mention that my sister and my sister-in-law are both here? :)

this is the lighthouse we went to, but believe me, the water was not placid like this.

At any rate, fun times so far, and I will upload pics when I get a chance. Looking forward to being back in NoCo soon, and don’t forget I’m hosting the Boozy Bunny festivities at Lucky Joe’s on Sunday eve. Kevin dresses up as Boozy Bunny and we all, well, drink and have an all-star open mike, with me (the allest of all-stars) Joe, Chad Price from Drag the River, P-Man from Motorhome and a couple of others. It’s free and it’s a loverly way to celebrate the second coming of Our Lord. Or was that the first coming? Whatever. That guy’s got no staying power. No wonder his porn career was so short.

Ha! Short! Get it? :)

C y’all soon,


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